2NE1 - GO AWAY [HD]

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY

First thing in the morning, I got a call from my friends who took the board exam for MLS yesterday... I really hope that they will all pass the exam. I am so proud of them. I am also getting a little curious on how my exams gonna be. I wish it will be a lot better.

I am happy that at this point, I don't get jealous to their achievement. It's a self improvement thing for me. Lessen the insecurities until it is totally gone and all that is left is a confident me....

To my friends, congratulations... I am sooo proud of you!

tutor ako

hay... believe it or not gaenjoy gid ko sa pagtutor koreano.. buot nga dungol... hehe... imbes na english ang itudlo ko, science kag history gina kaduguan ko sang ilong. pro worth it man ah...

The Secret to Teen Power

The Power book trailer

The Secret - Planet Earth HD

The Secret to Riches HD

The Secret to You HD

I'M NOT PERFECT

I have done something which I know will make my mama wail to the nth level... I promise to do my best in order to clear up the mess that I have done. Sorry to you.. I've done this coz I can't handle this hardship any longer. Thanks Yan for listening and understanding my situation. I am enjoying what I am doing right now.. Thanks to those who understands and cared to listen. I owe you a lot. In difficult times like this, it pays to have few true friends who will be there to offer a shoulder to lean on.. Thanks for listening...

Yes, I am not perfect and I am capable of making mistakes, lots of mistakes but one thing is for sure, I am willing to learn and I am struggling to correct those mistakes. I will pay you all back for all the goodness you had been showing me... Now, I know who my true friends are. A small list of you is all it takes to help me change...for the better..

Thanks sooo much, my few good friends!

EASY A

HERE IS MY LIST OF MUST WATCH MOVIES THIS YEAR:

• 

  John Martin Damasco EASY A- biatchy, funny film w/ dan humphrey (penn)- super drool worthy....
  A MUST WATCH FOR MY BFF's
  

  39 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco THE ROOMMATE- coz it's Leighton

  38 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco GOING THE DISTANCE- coz tita Drew is sooo Barrymore (huat?)

  36 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco IT'S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY- COZ IT'S KINDDA FUNNY

  35 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco CHARLIE ST. CLOUD- no need to explain, Efron!

  33 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco REMEMBER ME- don't let me start.. pppleeaaasssseee...

  30 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco AFTER.LIFE- coz it's Cristina Ricci?

  28 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco LETTERS TO JULIET- Amanda Seigfreid conservative

  24 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco CHLOE- Amanda Seigfreid liplocking w/ Julianne Moore...

  21 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco BURLESQUE- Bff Cristina Aguilera's first film w/ Mamasang Cher

  20 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco THE RUNAWAYS- Twilight's casts doing sidelines.... Swan biatch and Tita Dakota...

  16 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco SALT- super action w/ the poise and did I mention Angelina Jolips ang superbida?

  14 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco runner's up: DEVIL- M. Night Shyamalan and LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS- coz it's about Viagra...highly recommended for Tessa...wahaha.. aga pa siya...

  7 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco START SAVING NOW.. I'LL JUST BUY PIRATED DVD...hehe

  6 minutes ago ·  · 

LETTING YOU GO

 "Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control"...

Got this same problem for years.. How can I let go of my feelings for Yan? It must be clear that Yan is just but a friend, nothing more. I realized that since day one but how can I move on? Yan will always have that special place in my heart no matter what. I don't have any control over my feelings for Yan. It's just so weird how I love Yan no matter how painful that is. But I am struggling to let go, to move on and to free myself from this crazy feeling...

But no matter what, I will still love you.. Hardheaded!

ADIKTUS SA SIADAH

Lahat na magastos, kaya kong iwasan maliban sa isang bagay- pagkain, kainan, lafang, siada... Gagastos ako ng sobra makakain lang ng masarap.. Foodtrip is our ultimate trip. Masaya akoo kapag nabubusog ang tiyan ko. Buffet, promo, pinaka affordable, pinakamahal- la akong pinapalampas... Yesterday we went sa favorite resto namin, sa Kook..isang korean resto na nagseserve ng comfort food namin- ang samgyeopsal. It was a heartbreaking moment ng nakita naming closed na pala ang resto.. Parang gusto kong umiyak.. Pumunta na lang kami sa Maki- Japanese resto na may masarap na Bento Box. First time kong nakatikim ng sashimi at hindi ko nagustuhan. Bahala ng kumati sa allergy basta masarap ang tempura at sushi... Bukas, invited uli ako sa isa pang kainan, sa Le Gresh.. pero parang hindi ako makakapunta, ubos na kasi ang aking datis... huhuhu...

TRIPLETS KAMI

AFTER JOVIT, HERE COMES ANOTHER LOOK ALIKE.... CLASSMATE NINA MONNA AND JENNY SA DAVAO.. HAIST.. GRABEH NA TO.. ARE WE CLONES OF A SUPER GENIUS SOURCE? MUSIC GENIUS SI JOVIT, NATURAL GENIUS AKO.. I DUNNO SA ISANG TOH... WAHAHA...

I USED TO BE SMART, THEN I GOT LAZY

Still lazy to open a single book..can't even finish a chapter in a day. and now I am pissed off coz I can't open my Facebook.. What's wrong world wide web? What have I've done? U call it malas and I got lots of that... But I more lucks than bad lucks... haist..Martin, please..please promise yourself to start studying now... Top the board, remember? wahahha... Lazy me... I used to be smart, then I got lazy...

a new me

 It is this day of the 20th of July that I decided to make it official. Starting this day onwards, it will be the more improved Martin that they will be witnessing. It will be the more confident Martin that will face them. It is about time to show them that I can be someone that they will respect and look upon to. It will be a more independent, goal-oriented and admirable me...

I know you'll love me....

ALMOST THERE

 July 17th.. I almost spilled the major `Yes, I am madly in to you`... Good thing the conversation was suddenly stopped.. Yan knew it, Yan sensed it... What can I do..it is pretty obvious though. For the effing 3 years I'm keeping this... But anyways it's for the goodness of both of us... The fact that it is revealed, I'll be free of the burden of keeping it for ages... Whatever the consequences it may bring, I should face it, it's better than being stuck in I-hope-you-know kind of drama... Be prepared...

REST THE NET FOR AWHILE

 my fav tweet today: STOP CALLING YOURSELF UGLY JUST SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN SAY YOU'RE NOT! -OMGteenquotes...



Few days ago, my eyes started to get soo red, teary and itchy, must be irritatted from my facial cream.. Soo for now, I need to say goodbye to the internet connections so I may deal with this soring eye.. Its a good sign, a motivation for me to stop all eye straining activities like PCs and watching TV.. For now, I need to focus on my review.. Need to pass the Compre aand ofcourse the Board Exam... Need confidence to face the MLS Board.. Need to provee to them that it won't always bee about who made it first but it is about whom made the best play...

Good thing God is always with me.. He never left me in my trying times... Sometimes I think I'm his favorite coz his spoiling me at times...and I am thankful with that coz he loves me sooo much... Thank you God.. I know everything has its right time. What I need to do now is to focus on improving myself and playing my new role- the DONOR OF LOVE and not a beggar of it... Everything shall follow after that... Thanks for everything...

So this must be goodbye for now.. See you soon as I spill the good news..


I'm loving myself more! Tah tah!

DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE JOVIT?

EMPTY

 I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO...

ACCEPTANCE...

PATIENCE...

OPTIMISM...

GRATITUDE...

MEDICAL LABORATORY SCIENTISTS

EXie & Me are now Frendz On FB

With nothing left to do in the last few hours before my SUPERSURF end, I browse the People Search of FB to search for...obviously people... As I was wondering whom to look for, Exie's name poped up in my mind.. As I was typing Exies name, there was a immediate adrenaline rush.. As I clicked the search button, andExie's profile popped up,I dunno what to feel but find it more interested on how Exi is...Sometimes misery means looking for old companies...And so I found Exie... Waiting as soon as Exie accept my invitation...

USE BASTOS IN A SENTENCE

Sadya permi magreview ah.. Biskan anu kakatuluyo sang klase, sadya man guihapun sang binastosanay..
Hay hindi ka gid man MedTech kung hindi bastos kag purong kabastusan lang ang gagwa sa sungad mu...
Despite all the seriousness when it come to completion of requirements, we always find time to laugh and bastusanay... This is us, something we are developed to be, we were  polished, molded to be better hustlers in terms of kabastusan... But something to be proud of, though bastos kami, talk to us coz it may sound senseless pro may dulot.. tagos asta ngalangala kung kami mambastos.... Wala ginasanto basta gago ka, sorry ka nalang kay mas kami... Hindi kami dungol or gapadinungol, bastos lang gid kami by blood and by heart.... Kontraha lang isa sa amun kay daw mga buyog kami nga magasting cmu in the most ouchness kind a way... Never mess up with the MT4, we are armored to make you cry in the most bastos way ever...

Charice - "Pyramid" Featuring Iyaz - Official Music Video

EVIL ME

I don't expect others to like me. As far as I know that most of my mates are still on my side, I'll consider that as an indicator that I am still okay. I don't have to deal with hates, but sometimes it is quite fun to bitch around a bit. Just proving to them that they are messing with the wrong devil. I study my card first before dealing, and I am putting extra care in between bets. Thanks to those who made me quite stronger. Nobody can mess up with a John Martin, coz they usually end up with bad Karma...unexpectedly. Know where my previous foes are? They are all gone.. So good luck, I wish you a not so bad luck... After all that what friends are for?! ...my precious FRENEMY!

DIARY ENTRY

Let me start this entire entry with an immortal line from Gossip Girl: "Ain't karma a bitch?"... Coz this time is payback time. Yup, she sensed it already. The undirected insults, tira, pangabo and all those mean things only we could execute... Sorry.  girl, as what I have said, you might forget, you're messing up with the Pro's... Careful.. Now, she felt that she is so alone. She deserve it. No feeling of guilt for a plastic like me. Sorry...but everytime you do your shot, I make sure I double the excitement...

And as for the old mammoth who keep on making my feelings complicated, someday baby boy, there's gonna  be an updated version of me (let me borrow that KC). But someday you will realize that you made an awful compromise and you wish that you have what you missed.... Just wait Yan, and you will see....haha.... A much better me... You'll see...

Let me finish this oral exams and I know, I will make it to the top rank of the MLS board exam... I will then make my life better.. I will suffer no more. I will make sure of that...

I'm the best..as always... (evil laugh)

WISH LIST

1. PESO as in 20K++++
2. I PAD
3. BLACKBERRY PHONE
4. LAPTOP
5. MONEY
6. LOTS OF MONEY
7. TO PASS MLS BOARD
8. TO PASS MLS BOARD WITH FLYING COLORS
9. TO TOP MLS BOARD
10. TO TOPNOTCH MLS BOARD...
11. TO BE HAPPY...VERY HAPPY...

spare me baby

How can I go on if you are mak'n me confused? I thought the silence means it's over but why you keep on reviving when it is near dying? Please, help me let go of you... I dunno why, you're not even my type...but I'm going gaga over you... Spare me baby, I'm tired already...

lonely boi

     Looks like I'm the new Dan Humphrey, or maybe I just found out I am... Haist, this is not a destiny, to wander around- ALONE?! Couldn't help it, but it keeps on getting into my nerves- the reality that I am but a loner. It started before the 24th of April, the date that I started to question myself "should I have to?". I guess the answer is very clear: wake up... Hallucination. 

      They say patience is a virtue, but for me time is gold. I couldn't wait. I hate waiting. But one thing is for sure, I will miss all those moments, I will treasure all those memories, those that made me sooo happy.

       I watched The Diary of a Wimpy Kid...of course Alone.. It won't be for long. I'm sure of that. We have our own time, mine siguro made a little detour...

       Just enjoy everything.. You are not getting any younger... 

       God, if ever that thing arrives, please make an obvious sign...I'm poor at interpretations...hehehe

MY LOVE FOR GAGO

 It was the first time I found him existing sa class that I fell in love with him. He was quite, misteryoso and let's say helpless... I thought at first it was just because he needs my help kaya ako nan diyan to supervise him, ako ang group leader and he was a member. He will always come to school super late (literally). I will forge his signature sa logbook para hindi siya aabot sa point na ang tardiness niya ay equivalent to drop na. He was thankful about that. We always made a good team.I will call him by awful petnames he never felt bad about- gago, ungas, ugok, sir, bosing, tikalon, langka etc.. We made fun out of those. He considered me as his savior. He will ask for my help whenever he found the outputs complicated to do or he was just lazy to put a single hand at anything. I will be there, his savior to help him up. It reaches the point that he needed to take a break sa dami ng failures and INCs na hindi niya nang kayang lampasan. It was a year and kahit ganun we remained connected, we retained the best friendship I have ever had. I told him to look for a job to make himself productive, and  a month later he told me na nilagay niya ako as his reference person for his Bio-Data. He worked as a service crew. Then on, I was proud of him, he made it. He stood up with his own feet alone, without any help from anyone. And I realized I was now proud of myself, because somebody appreciates my existence, that I can make myself useful to someone. It rarely happens. Maybe, selfishly, I fell in love with him completely. Ganun siya. He was that important. Whatever he do, whatever life he had chosen now, his memory of that single person who made me feel important will forever be preserved in my memory.. Yun siya, in a way I couldn't explain exactly how or why. I was just in love- that is my only fault.... I miss him badly, but I have to face reality... I could not cross the line, I just can't.... Goodbye...

A THING ABOUT BEING ME

Instinct Martin.. That mind rocking crystal ball something instinct you have.. Follow it...

Martin: So you deserve a piece of a price, don't you?!

Farewell Jilyn

Who would have thought, Jilyn, would take her life? It was a tragic Monday for all of us to remember... Why Ji?  What's wrong? You have all the love in the world, the best that God could offer? Despite all of this gifts, why? But whatever thoughts you have or problems you never dared to share, we will always be here defending you... God loves you so much Ji. we love you... The short time you shared to me will always be treasured. You'll be my inspiration to go on and never give up... My Board Exam, I will offer it to you... God, pleae send my love to Heaven!

Happy Feb 14

Yah.. the saddest date for me... Hope to have the best next year...

Can You Feel The Pressure?

I don't want to be pressured but because of the meeting this afternoon, as if I woke up from a transcendent dream.. I need to march.. I need to go up that stage, have my mother with me, do the tassel ceremony and receive my diploma...  I empathize Ma'am Vicky, she worked so hard for something which we could not accomplish.. But we will try our best.. We will graduate on time!!! Time to study!

I Got a Crush on You

Sorry but the first time I saw you, crush ta na ka.. wahaha.. Huya ko gani magstare simu.. wahaha.. The first time you smiled, the first time you said excuse me kay mapass ka sa door, the first time I signed my name, the first time you laughed at me, the first time you talke to me- 2seconds to siya ata gina... Thank you for making me happy and helping me forget... Crush ta ka.. wahaha

To March or Just to Graduate?

I hate being pressured... But what should I do? I really want to march.. to attend the Graduation Ceremony..but how can I do that if all they where thinking was the assurance of producing students capable of topping the board? Is this pressure really works or is this but another selfish ways of my school?!

I'm Feel'n Good

I met them.. Mandy and Ken are nice.. hehe... Now we're friends.. Thank you!!! One thing I need to do now is to study.. I really need to study harder, take interviews,pass exams and make sure I will graduate on time!!! hehe...

what's with the BLUSH?!

YES...we watch Paano Na Kaya.. I can't belive it but nakarelate gid ko... And I cried in different scenes of the film.. after watching, we ate at Pizza Hut.. and what's with the Blushing? the smiling? the laughing? I miss you but guess what, I remained peaceful after that.. Is this a sign that I am already moving on? hope it is... I will miss you!!!

YAN..was it the FINALE?

okay.. the truth is I'm trying to get rid of you but I just can't... sorry...but I can't imagine myself living a life without you.. sorry... i'm not yet ready... but I'll try....

i'll shut up my mouth

so unfair.. they made serren look bad in front of everyone.. ni 1st year guro la gani kabalo kung anu to gakatabo... i hate it.. it was delivered in a very unfair manner... kung muto ang feedbacking nga gina tawag I'd rather not attend for another one... we commented, we complained and in the end, we were the ones who appeared to have the fault.. I hate it... I'd rather keep my mouth shut and appear nice than to open it and say bad stuffs... how unfair my college is... pero nevermind..

as far as i am concerned, they were the ones to blame for the injustice that the student have had felt about the celebration and about the financial stuffs... they had there lessons... basta ako, I'll just do what I am supposed to do... I'll make sure I will not be like them....

katapusan ng mundo..

so happy.. wala na ko sa Bacte... haha

i bought a Globe Tattoo

yep.. i finally bought a wireless broadband for my PC.. haha..

someday, its gonna make sense...

i finally did it.. i made the most daring move I had ever done in my life.. atleast know it is revealed... i know i'll be better....

THIS IS NOT GOODBYE

Tuesday... enrolment for Internship... Should I expect excitement among my peers? should we be glad because finally we will reach the final adventure of our MedTech life? How can I be happy if my closest friends didn't made it? I can't see myself continue the journey without them... I will miss you all.. to Jem, who dont deserve to lose the fight, prove them wrong... Show them what you really got... To RJ and Matet, don't waste the next moment of your adventure- this is not failure...this is just your postponed success... I will miss you all... The friendship I had with you is the most loyal I had ever had... Thank you so much for the acceptance, for the joy and the unconditional love... THE FRIENDSHIP WE HAD WILL BE FOREVER CHERISHED... ONCE AN MT-4, ALWAYS BE A MT-4...

time to change..

i love myself... i love myself.. i love myself... i'm not narcistic... i just love myself...

SCREEN TEST

Sometimes, there is a need to stand up for yourself. The “standing up” that means you have to make a big decision which will eventually change the entire picture of your present life. It could be the most difficult thing to do but though it hurts, you know that it’s for the best. It may cause me pain but I know this choice will make me happier in the end. Funny cause it is indeed true- there is no such thing as FAIRYTALE. And everything definitely has expirations. Mine has taken place.
Was it over because somebody dropped me? Of course not, I’m Martin remember? If a boss tries to fire me, I will outdo him with my resignation letter. I’m just making decisions which I know would be of my greatest advantage. It is such a heartbreakin’ move- but I know my drama is on its screenplay, I’m playing with my own visual effects and I choose the best cinematography for it. Hate me-so you will play the poor little adversary. Now, I’m bitch’n out again. Hehe.
It just started with my former ‘self-made-lead-stars’ who tried to steal the glare of publicity out of me but not surprisingly they did not succeed. And it made me into a bitter but glaring bitch. After all, I look upon my counterpart- Blare Waldorf. And if there is Blare, there should be Serena and the rest of the Powerpuff girls… thanks to them, the invasion of the spiteful, the nasty and the beautiful come about and we call the story “Friendship”…
But it didn’t stop there; a Dan Humphrey is trying to make his way into the scene. The story was smoothly flowing but suddenly he mess it all up. As if I care?! Of course I care, that was assumed to be the best part, the climax, the glitters and the music of Mariah on its background. AAAHHH!!! I was so close but aaahhhh!!! Oh well, I dropped him too...
Now I think I need a break. Im nursing grudges, oh no! It’s a bad sign…. Oh what am I thinking?! What am I saying?! I think I just have nothing to do right now… xoxo!

Lola Rene

I've reached this point that I feel so guilty. Guilty because Lola Rene is now weak and I got no chance of redeeming my self. I hated her for unknown reasons, I fought back when she had to justify something and every time I see her, I got irritated. Now, I feel bad, seeing her in the hospital bed helpless. God, please give me a chance to thank her for her kindness, patience and unmeasurable understanding. Please give me a chance to redeem myself. Thank you dear Father...

A TIME TO FIGHT BACK

Sometimes, I'm thinking of myself as a loser, weak and has no guts to stand up for himself. Well, I guess the saying "If you want to look big, join the giants" is quite real. Now I am taller than most of my foes. They hate me, I hate them too. This is just a fair way of dealing with life's bitches... hate me, I will hate you more. Beware of the plastics and learn to fight back! go Boi!!!!

THE NEXT WRITER

As I was browsing through the pages of a literary folio, I told myself: “I should write”. I should learn how to write to be exact. I’m not a writer and grammar makes my knees numb. But I will dare myself to write because this is one fascinating form of self expression. So before you continue reading the next few lines, please EXCUSE MY ENGLISH (grammar, diction and hopefully not spelling), anyways let’s just consider this as my personal style.
Since my elementary days, we are trained to write. We furnished the skills during high school with the electives on Creative Writing, Journalism, Technical Writing, Research and Literature. Now, the question is: “What happened?” The answer? Still I do not know. Since then, I really want to write…in English. But skills discouraged me to do so. While most of my classmates scribble on higher English, I remained in simple inartistic laymen’s diction. Oh crap. Wish I could write as good as those in the school paper.
I really want to write. But I do not know or what to write. But still I will write. I will not give up. I will be the best writer. I’ll be writing for Reader’s Digest and contribute on Chicken Soup in the future. But for now, I will just write for myself, improve my skills and dream more. Hey, life without a mission is not life at all.

-JOHN MARTIN DAMASCO
Writer…Future Writer

NOW THAT I’M 20

Yep, you heard it right. I’m a kid no more. Hehe. Birthdays were indeed worth remembering. Mine was just a plain simple celebration with my family and my cousins. I had a date with my ever bestfriend, my dearest cousin Twinkle the next day. Sort of post birthday celebration for me and a pre-celebration of her birthday, which is on the 21st. Hay, hopefully, as I enter the world of the 20’s I may be able to fulfil the expectations of being a 20 year old.

Now that I am 20:

I promise myself to be more mature,

That I may be able to make wise, if not good decisions,

I will strive to be good in my daily venture.

I wish that I can make it,

That I can be assertive in everything I do.

I will be positive,

And successful,

At the same time happy.

DIARY OF THE INSECURE

This past few days are hard for me (all the days actually is hard for me though). My last blog entry was about my jealousies and I guess there is no difference with what I am posting right now.

Yesterday:
St. Augustine’s Feast Day, also was the Acquaintance Day. We do have this sort of contests and playful stuffs going on around. There’s the dating game, the Jail Booth, the Handcuff-sort-of Booth and lot’s of other stuffs. I was in charged with the MTV thing which I really worked hard on and is actually a contest entry of our class. We are really expecting to win an award for that but sad to say we landed on the 3rd place, much even worse we were not declared as the 3rd placer. It was already late when we were told that there was a kind of slip that happened. And wow, should I be happy about that? In a way, of course I should be. God has beautiful way of sending instant wish-grants. But the sad part is that, it was not announced on stage, we haven’t cheered and shout so loud for our victory. We were just told after the program, amazing, isn’t it? The thing is that I worked hard for that, my classmates appreciated my effort. They cared and they supported that thing.

But much worse is that Shella, my closest friend think that the video sucks, she has lots of commentaries about it, it should be something like this, should not be like that and few more of those similar criticisms. We are friends, and she should be the very first to support me, to feel happy about my hardwork, to appreciate my effort. But did she care? Oh well, that’s life and that’s her. Shella, sometimes is so…Shella. As a friend I must accept her. But she must learn to be a true friend herself.

Well sometimes, I was thinking that hopefully I’m a different guy (here goes my insecurities again). But still I’m fighting over it. Hey, God is good and he has loads of wonderful stuffs for me.

Speaking of God’s goodness, he is so instant in granting my wishes. We won 3rd place in that not-so-good-experience kind of contest and last night I texted the least expected person I can ever deal with: Sir Andrew of Ventus… Haha, we are textmates now or sort of near to that… Anyways, he is so nice to say yes to my proposal (as a fan) of sending him messages once in a while… Love you God!!!! You are so great!

Hay anyways, last night, I partied with my friends and friend in the state of regaining, we got drunk and we ate at a Korean Resto- Kook… hehe… I miss my friends, I miss having real and true friends… I miss having cool and funny and crazy friends… I miss them all.

But there is another thing that I want to confess, I pity Julius. I pity him for choosing not to talk to me. Now, a lot of people ignore him (not something to feel flattered on). And he is always alone. I was once his friend, who tried to changed him, who was helping him out but things altered. Now he is somewhat lost, kind of hated... He is misunderstood. I hope things will be better for him…and for me. Well that is all… Hoping my next entry will be something positive…

By the way, my Mom was admitted at the hospital for her TAHBSU Operation. She is better now and expecting to be discharged tomorrow. Thanks God!

diary

life isn't really fair... I tried to make it better, but it gone worse... Still I know that all of this damn stuffs are just tests that I need to pass. I flunked once, never will it happen again... Feel so down right now... School's a piece of shit... Teacher's hate me... dunno why... I tried my best to redeem myself, but still to no avail... When will they be able to find out that I'm okay! that I'm good, that I can do better.. I want to wet my pillows sometimes, but good thing I can manage my emotions better now. Another dilemma, my former friends are stabbing me at my back... Yeah, hate those people who have the guts to betray there friends... I am avoiding those people who have the tendency to be bitches when you're not around.... But my biggest frustration is "Bebe" is ignoring me now... wrong tactics, wrong attacks, wrong strategies... hate it... feelin' bad about it... But life will always be this way... I will always be the Martin who is alone, pretentious and eager in searching for true happiness. Thanks to those who are giving me the air to breathe when I am suffocated with loneliness...


I miss my life... I miss myself.... I miss happiness...

things I should fuckingly be happy about

yeah... things that made me feel great:

I flunked my exams for the first time- another record breaking moment

teachers hate me for being so irresistibly cute

I have a very high IQ, so high that I could hardly understand my lessons

I engaged myself to a pot session inside the school...pot session of muriatic acid, zonrox and Lysol all at the same time....

mumu... huhuhu... la lang... gapun nagkadto kami sa SM with Clarrise, Troy, Julius kag Shella.... Hahha... naglibre si Ian Pizza Hut... Si Menvie nakita ko naman after pila ka months... Miss mah friends... hekhek......



Watch ang iban Urbandub concert, la ko ya kaupod... huhu... pro it's okay...




Today, school aku... I thought my cl;ass pero close ang laboratory... nag net nalang kami... wahaha..

IT REALLY WORKS

Who would have thought I will make it to Ventus. It was a tough training and I made it. Before, I was really hopeless. I was thinking I will never make it. But now everything is in order. It coordinates to what I really want. First, I have an AM job that I really wanted. I am teaching young individuals in Elementary to read. It must not bring conflict to my PM job. Hey, what a good fate. During re-shifting, I remain to my PM schedule. What a wow! I enjoyed it. Last night, when Ronn texted me that I got the highest number of messages transcribed (my CSR job), I checked it on the bulletin board and it was really posted there! Wow! I was one of the lowest pointers during the training but hey, I made it! Wow again for that!!! And tomorrow, I’ll be receiving my first salary… Oooohhh… That’s a bigger WOW!!!! I am so lucky!!! NO, I have the best fate!!! Thanks to God for that!!! I am so happy. I know that I will make it to the QA (Quality Assurance-sort of evaluation). I will make it. I know that. Now, Martin is the luckiest guy alive!!! He is so good now. I love myself. Thanks for everything. Thanks for showing me the true meaning of living! I am sooo happy!!!! I will make sure that I am doing my best in everything. Watch out for the new Me. It’s the new Martin who is existing right now. Bonus news: I got admirers!!! Wahahaha… Who would have thought that I will have vocal admirers???? Oh, what a life!!! I’m so flattered. …

MY WISH LIST

1. I earn an unexpected salary of P15,000
2. I own a PSP
3. I play with my Game Boy
4. I listen to my Ipod Touch
5. I have an oozing Beautiful Face
6. I have a mouth-watering Sexy Body
7. Happiness
8. I have a perfect Relationship
9. I am sooo HEALTHY.
10. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT.
11. I AM LOVED
12. I am a MILLIONARE
13. I OWN A MANSION
14. IT’S A PALACE WITH A VINEYARD
15. I’M A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN
16. I TOUCHED THE LIVES OF MANY
17. I AM HAPPY
18. GOD LOVES ME.
19. PEOPLE CARED FOR ME
20. I AM POPULAR
21. I HAVE WRITTEN A BESTSELLER BOOK WORLDWIDE
22. I AM AN ACTOR
22. THE PHILLIPINNES IS ONE OF THE RICHEST COUNTRY
23. EVERYBODY IS LIVING ON ABUNDANCE
24. I AM FREE
25. MY FAMILY IS IN GOOD CONDITION
26. I HAVE A PEACEFUL AND SATISFYING LIFE.
27. I CLIMB MOUNTAINS.
28. I KNOW A LOT OF SPORTS.
29. I AM DREAMING FOR MORE.
30. EVERYTHING IS REAL.

THE NEW DAY HAS FINALLY COME

The darkest part of the day is just right before the dawn. Now my dawn has finally come. I didn’t realize that I will change my life in an instant after playing the pirated DVD I borrowed from Elanie. Who would have thought that the guy who is so inferior, crazy and lonely has changed his life just after watching this certain docu film. I am happier now. And I am so glad that the Universe conspires with me. Now, everything is in proper order. I don’t wet my pillows with tears anymore. I became aware of the true meaning of living. Life is indeed full of mysteries. I am so glad that I discovered one. And who would have thought it is because of a pirated DVD? Know the Law of Attraction? Kim has it before me. He asked me before about the book “The Secret”. Of course I am aware that the book exists but I didn’t realize that I was almost there. I haven’t read that book but I had watched the film. Now I am happier. I am living the life that I was always pleading to God. I am happier now. I am destined to be happy, to look for happiness, to share it and to be admired because of it. I had a part-time job that I really wanted, I appreciate the best family that I am having, I am loved by the people around me, I am lucky with everything. No, it’s not luck, its fate. Now, people would come to me because they are likening me, not because they need me. I can manage my health better this time despite the hectic schedules. I appreciate everything. I give gratitude to the things that I owe to God. I love myself now. No more self-pity, no more grudges, no more loneliness and no more fears. I am happy, I am glad, I am the best and I am beautiful. Ho w about you? Do you remember the last time you told that to yourself? Do you still recall the times that you were so happy? Do you wish that life would be better? Think again. The answer is just in your heart. The mind conceives it, your body will achieve it. Be attractive. Feel attractive. Be happy. It is just the state of mind; the state of mind which is larger and wider than you think. Remember the last few lines of Desiderata? You are the Child of the Universe. No less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt that the Universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God. Whatever you conceive him to be; And whatever your labors and aspirations in this changing fortunes of time. Keep peace within your soul. With all the sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.See for yourself my friends. Learn to unfold the deepest secret within you. Rejoice and be happy with God! Feel good with yourself!

a wrong way of living

CORRECT WHAT'S BEEN DONE WRONG

the law of attraction's style

quite stupid right?!

I've wasted my time pitying my self for less than a year. Confessing my life is so miserable, feeling empty, dumb and damn lonely?! Funny iosn't it? In the first place, I was the one who make this things up... I'm the one who makes my own life. Starting that very point that I learned about "The Secret", I will make my life the most beautiful one, ever. I am the masterpiece of my one life. The Michaelangelo who carves the best sculptur ever: sculpting my own story. Martin- feel good about yourself and the Universe shall conspire on you. Be good! Be happy! Show gratitude! Be glad for you are the Martin. You are special, unique and beautiful!!! Live your life powerful. You are attractive!!!! I love you!!!! I'm happy to be you!!!

It's Complicated

IT'S COMPLICATED

Life is complicated, isn't it?! I manage to stop the drama but I often ending up in wet pillow. It seems life is made for me to suffer. I always feel so empty. I am always lonely. Maybe, nobody new my real deal with life. I don't have a confidant and I always stay mute when it comes to personal problems. When will be the time that I can be transparent about myself? When will I show the real feelings I am having and stop pretending to be happy in the middle of great depression I am feeling? Sometimes, I want to change my whole self. Go climb the mountain and enjoy the simpliest and contented living if possible. I cried my nights alone. I am always alone, despite the tons of friends I have. Time can tell when will I be happy once more. And I know God has beautiful plans for me in the future. Hope that time is already near...