when lola died

my dream about death

i woke up in the middle of the night,my heart was beating so fast.
my eyes were still closed.i wanted to open it up but the chill in the
tip of my toes tell me not to. i feel someone is in the end side of my bed,
i can feel the lowering of the bed near my left leg. a weight is really in there.
someone is really sitting in my bed.i was half hesitated to open my eyes, or just an eye.
but then, i opened my eyes. i saw an old lady in white.
she is sitting sideways, as if waiting for me to raise myself up. then i was goosebumped.
my body felt so cold. my body is shaking. then my facial muscles started to contract,
forcing my mouth to open. i can't close my mouth as if it was stiffed. i close my eyes.
still i can sense that she is still here. she is really here.
i manage to close my mouth. still my eyes are deeply closed.


i dreamed of a coffin. a coffin in a funeral procession.
but i can see the body. an old mans body. while the procession is on going,
i look at the coffin. as if the one inside is moving. it truly moves...
suddenly the mouth opened, as if grasping for air. the eyes opened.
the body went out of the coffin. he stood and look directly on me in view.
he uttered something. something which i couldn't remember. it was somewhat an intuition.

i woke up. now, i truly woke up. it scared me, was that an omen? a sign? a bad sign?
will i die? then, i was in my well-being. i remembered.
a couple of nights ago, my grandmother died. was it her on my bed? what for?
was it really a warning? a self premonition?