HERE IS MY LIST OF MUST WATCH MOVIES THIS YEAR:

• 

  John Martin Damasco EASY A- biatchy, funny film w/ dan humphrey (penn)- super drool worthy....
  A MUST WATCH FOR MY BFF's
  

  39 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco THE ROOMMATE- coz it's Leighton

  38 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco GOING THE DISTANCE- coz tita Drew is sooo Barrymore (huat?)

  36 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco IT'S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY- COZ IT'S KINDDA FUNNY

  35 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco CHARLIE ST. CLOUD- no need to explain, Efron!

  33 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco REMEMBER ME- don't let me start.. pppleeaaasssseee...

  30 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco AFTER.LIFE- coz it's Cristina Ricci?

  28 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco LETTERS TO JULIET- Amanda Seigfreid conservative

  24 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco CHLOE- Amanda Seigfreid liplocking w/ Julianne Moore...

  21 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco BURLESQUE- Bff Cristina Aguilera's first film w/ Mamasang Cher

  20 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco THE RUNAWAYS- Twilight's casts doing sidelines.... Swan biatch and Tita Dakota...

  16 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco SALT- super action w/ the poise and did I mention Angelina Jolips ang superbida?

  14 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco runner's up: DEVIL- M. Night Shyamalan and LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS- coz it's about Viagra...highly recommended for Tessa...wahaha.. aga pa siya...

  7 minutes ago ·  · 
• 

  John Martin Damasco START SAVING NOW.. I'LL JUST BUY PIRATED DVD...hehe

  6 minutes ago ·  · 

LETTING YOU GO

 "Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control"...

Got this same problem for years.. How can I let go of my feelings for Yan? It must be clear that Yan is just but a friend, nothing more. I realized that since day one but how can I move on? Yan will always have that special place in my heart no matter what. I don't have any control over my feelings for Yan. It's just so weird how I love Yan no matter how painful that is. But I am struggling to let go, to move on and to free myself from this crazy feeling...

But no matter what, I will still love you.. Hardheaded!

ADIKTUS SA SIADAH

Lahat na magastos, kaya kong iwasan maliban sa isang bagay- pagkain, kainan, lafang, siada... Gagastos ako ng sobra makakain lang ng masarap.. Foodtrip is our ultimate trip. Masaya akoo kapag nabubusog ang tiyan ko. Buffet, promo, pinaka affordable, pinakamahal- la akong pinapalampas... Yesterday we went sa favorite resto namin, sa Kook..isang korean resto na nagseserve ng comfort food namin- ang samgyeopsal. It was a heartbreaking moment ng nakita naming closed na pala ang resto.. Parang gusto kong umiyak.. Pumunta na lang kami sa Maki- Japanese resto na may masarap na Bento Box. First time kong nakatikim ng sashimi at hindi ko nagustuhan. Bahala ng kumati sa allergy basta masarap ang tempura at sushi... Bukas, invited uli ako sa isa pang kainan, sa Le Gresh.. pero parang hindi ako makakapunta, ubos na kasi ang aking datis... huhuhu...

TRIPLETS KAMI

AFTER JOVIT, HERE COMES ANOTHER LOOK ALIKE.... CLASSMATE NINA MONNA AND JENNY SA DAVAO.. HAIST.. GRABEH NA TO.. ARE WE CLONES OF A SUPER GENIUS SOURCE? MUSIC GENIUS SI JOVIT, NATURAL GENIUS AKO.. I DUNNO SA ISANG TOH... WAHAHA...

I USED TO BE SMART, THEN I GOT LAZY

Still lazy to open a single book..can't even finish a chapter in a day. and now I am pissed off coz I can't open my Facebook.. What's wrong world wide web? What have I've done? U call it malas and I got lots of that... But I more lucks than bad lucks... haist..Martin, please..please promise yourself to start studying now... Top the board, remember? wahahha... Lazy me... I used to be smart, then I got lazy...

a new me

 It is this day of the 20th of July that I decided to make it official. Starting this day onwards, it will be the more improved Martin that they will be witnessing. It will be the more confident Martin that will face them. It is about time to show them that I can be someone that they will respect and look upon to. It will be a more independent, goal-oriented and admirable me...

I know you'll love me....

ALMOST THERE

 July 17th.. I almost spilled the major `Yes, I am madly in to you`... Good thing the conversation was suddenly stopped.. Yan knew it, Yan sensed it... What can I do..it is pretty obvious though. For the effing 3 years I'm keeping this... But anyways it's for the goodness of both of us... The fact that it is revealed, I'll be free of the burden of keeping it for ages... Whatever the consequences it may bring, I should face it, it's better than being stuck in I-hope-you-know kind of drama... Be prepared...

REST THE NET FOR AWHILE

 my fav tweet today: STOP CALLING YOURSELF UGLY JUST SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN SAY YOU'RE NOT! -OMGteenquotes...



Few days ago, my eyes started to get soo red, teary and itchy, must be irritatted from my facial cream.. Soo for now, I need to say goodbye to the internet connections so I may deal with this soring eye.. Its a good sign, a motivation for me to stop all eye straining activities like PCs and watching TV.. For now, I need to focus on my review.. Need to pass the Compre aand ofcourse the Board Exam... Need confidence to face the MLS Board.. Need to provee to them that it won't always bee about who made it first but it is about whom made the best play...

Good thing God is always with me.. He never left me in my trying times... Sometimes I think I'm his favorite coz his spoiling me at times...and I am thankful with that coz he loves me sooo much... Thank you God.. I know everything has its right time. What I need to do now is to focus on improving myself and playing my new role- the DONOR OF LOVE and not a beggar of it... Everything shall follow after that... Thanks for everything...

So this must be goodbye for now.. See you soon as I spill the good news..


I'm loving myself more! Tah tah!

DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE JOVIT?

EMPTY

 I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO...

ACCEPTANCE...

PATIENCE...

OPTIMISM...

GRATITUDE...

MEDICAL LABORATORY SCIENTISTS

EXie & Me are now Frendz On FB

With nothing left to do in the last few hours before my SUPERSURF end, I browse the People Search of FB to search for...obviously people... As I was wondering whom to look for, Exie's name poped up in my mind.. As I was typing Exies name, there was a immediate adrenaline rush.. As I clicked the search button, andExie's profile popped up,I dunno what to feel but find it more interested on how Exi is...Sometimes misery means looking for old companies...And so I found Exie... Waiting as soon as Exie accept my invitation...

USE BASTOS IN A SENTENCE

Sadya permi magreview ah.. Biskan anu kakatuluyo sang klase, sadya man guihapun sang binastosanay..
Hay hindi ka gid man MedTech kung hindi bastos kag purong kabastusan lang ang gagwa sa sungad mu...
Despite all the seriousness when it come to completion of requirements, we always find time to laugh and bastusanay... This is us, something we are developed to be, we were  polished, molded to be better hustlers in terms of kabastusan... But something to be proud of, though bastos kami, talk to us coz it may sound senseless pro may dulot.. tagos asta ngalangala kung kami mambastos.... Wala ginasanto basta gago ka, sorry ka nalang kay mas kami... Hindi kami dungol or gapadinungol, bastos lang gid kami by blood and by heart.... Kontraha lang isa sa amun kay daw mga buyog kami nga magasting cmu in the most ouchness kind a way... Never mess up with the MT4, we are armored to make you cry in the most bastos way ever...

Charice - "Pyramid" Featuring Iyaz - Official Music Video

EVIL ME

I don't expect others to like me. As far as I know that most of my mates are still on my side, I'll consider that as an indicator that I am still okay. I don't have to deal with hates, but sometimes it is quite fun to bitch around a bit. Just proving to them that they are messing with the wrong devil. I study my card first before dealing, and I am putting extra care in between bets. Thanks to those who made me quite stronger. Nobody can mess up with a John Martin, coz they usually end up with bad Karma...unexpectedly. Know where my previous foes are? They are all gone.. So good luck, I wish you a not so bad luck... After all that what friends are for?! ...my precious FRENEMY!

DIARY ENTRY

Let me start this entire entry with an immortal line from Gossip Girl: "Ain't karma a bitch?"... Coz this time is payback time. Yup, she sensed it already. The undirected insults, tira, pangabo and all those mean things only we could execute... Sorry.  girl, as what I have said, you might forget, you're messing up with the Pro's... Careful.. Now, she felt that she is so alone. She deserve it. No feeling of guilt for a plastic like me. Sorry...but everytime you do your shot, I make sure I double the excitement...

And as for the old mammoth who keep on making my feelings complicated, someday baby boy, there's gonna  be an updated version of me (let me borrow that KC). But someday you will realize that you made an awful compromise and you wish that you have what you missed.... Just wait Yan, and you will see....haha.... A much better me... You'll see...

Let me finish this oral exams and I know, I will make it to the top rank of the MLS board exam... I will then make my life better.. I will suffer no more. I will make sure of that...

I'm the best..as always... (evil laugh)

WISH LIST

1. PESO as in 20K++++
2. I PAD
3. BLACKBERRY PHONE
4. LAPTOP
5. MONEY
6. LOTS OF MONEY
7. TO PASS MLS BOARD
8. TO PASS MLS BOARD WITH FLYING COLORS
9. TO TOP MLS BOARD
10. TO TOPNOTCH MLS BOARD...
11. TO BE HAPPY...VERY HAPPY...

spare me baby

How can I go on if you are mak'n me confused? I thought the silence means it's over but why you keep on reviving when it is near dying? Please, help me let go of you... I dunno why, you're not even my type...but I'm going gaga over you... Spare me baby, I'm tired already...

lonely boi

     Looks like I'm the new Dan Humphrey, or maybe I just found out I am... Haist, this is not a destiny, to wander around- ALONE?! Couldn't help it, but it keeps on getting into my nerves- the reality that I am but a loner. It started before the 24th of April, the date that I started to question myself "should I have to?". I guess the answer is very clear: wake up... Hallucination. 

      They say patience is a virtue, but for me time is gold. I couldn't wait. I hate waiting. But one thing is for sure, I will miss all those moments, I will treasure all those memories, those that made me sooo happy.

       I watched The Diary of a Wimpy Kid...of course Alone.. It won't be for long. I'm sure of that. We have our own time, mine siguro made a little detour...

       Just enjoy everything.. You are not getting any younger... 

       God, if ever that thing arrives, please make an obvious sign...I'm poor at interpretations...hehehe

MY LOVE FOR GAGO

 It was the first time I found him existing sa class that I fell in love with him. He was quite, misteryoso and let's say helpless... I thought at first it was just because he needs my help kaya ako nan diyan to supervise him, ako ang group leader and he was a member. He will always come to school super late (literally). I will forge his signature sa logbook para hindi siya aabot sa point na ang tardiness niya ay equivalent to drop na. He was thankful about that. We always made a good team.I will call him by awful petnames he never felt bad about- gago, ungas, ugok, sir, bosing, tikalon, langka etc.. We made fun out of those. He considered me as his savior. He will ask for my help whenever he found the outputs complicated to do or he was just lazy to put a single hand at anything. I will be there, his savior to help him up. It reaches the point that he needed to take a break sa dami ng failures and INCs na hindi niya nang kayang lampasan. It was a year and kahit ganun we remained connected, we retained the best friendship I have ever had. I told him to look for a job to make himself productive, and  a month later he told me na nilagay niya ako as his reference person for his Bio-Data. He worked as a service crew. Then on, I was proud of him, he made it. He stood up with his own feet alone, without any help from anyone. And I realized I was now proud of myself, because somebody appreciates my existence, that I can make myself useful to someone. It rarely happens. Maybe, selfishly, I fell in love with him completely. Ganun siya. He was that important. Whatever he do, whatever life he had chosen now, his memory of that single person who made me feel important will forever be preserved in my memory.. Yun siya, in a way I couldn't explain exactly how or why. I was just in love- that is my only fault.... I miss him badly, but I have to face reality... I could not cross the line, I just can't.... Goodbye...

A THING ABOUT BEING ME

Instinct Martin.. That mind rocking crystal ball something instinct you have.. Follow it...

Martin: So you deserve a piece of a price, don't you?!

Farewell Jilyn

Who would have thought, Jilyn, would take her life? It was a tragic Monday for all of us to remember... Why Ji?  What's wrong? You have all the love in the world, the best that God could offer? Despite all of this gifts, why? But whatever thoughts you have or problems you never dared to share, we will always be here defending you... God loves you so much Ji. we love you... The short time you shared to me will always be treasured. You'll be my inspiration to go on and never give up... My Board Exam, I will offer it to you... God, pleae send my love to Heaven!

Happy Feb 14

Yah.. the saddest date for me... Hope to have the best next year...

Can You Feel The Pressure?

I don't want to be pressured but because of the meeting this afternoon, as if I woke up from a transcendent dream.. I need to march.. I need to go up that stage, have my mother with me, do the tassel ceremony and receive my diploma...  I empathize Ma'am Vicky, she worked so hard for something which we could not accomplish.. But we will try our best.. We will graduate on time!!! Time to study!

I Got a Crush on You

Sorry but the first time I saw you, crush ta na ka.. wahaha.. Huya ko gani magstare simu.. wahaha.. The first time you smiled, the first time you said excuse me kay mapass ka sa door, the first time I signed my name, the first time you laughed at me, the first time you talke to me- 2seconds to siya ata gina... Thank you for making me happy and helping me forget... Crush ta ka.. wahaha

To March or Just to Graduate?

I hate being pressured... But what should I do? I really want to march.. to attend the Graduation Ceremony..but how can I do that if all they where thinking was the assurance of producing students capable of topping the board? Is this pressure really works or is this but another selfish ways of my school?!

I'm Feel'n Good

I met them.. Mandy and Ken are nice.. hehe... Now we're friends.. Thank you!!! One thing I need to do now is to study.. I really need to study harder, take interviews,pass exams and make sure I will graduate on time!!! hehe...

what's with the BLUSH?!

YES...we watch Paano Na Kaya.. I can't belive it but nakarelate gid ko... And I cried in different scenes of the film.. after watching, we ate at Pizza Hut.. and what's with the Blushing? the smiling? the laughing? I miss you but guess what, I remained peaceful after that.. Is this a sign that I am already moving on? hope it is... I will miss you!!!

YAN..was it the FINALE?

okay.. the truth is I'm trying to get rid of you but I just can't... sorry...but I can't imagine myself living a life without you.. sorry... i'm not yet ready... but I'll try....

i'll shut up my mouth

so unfair.. they made serren look bad in front of everyone.. ni 1st year guro la gani kabalo kung anu to gakatabo... i hate it.. it was delivered in a very unfair manner... kung muto ang feedbacking nga gina tawag I'd rather not attend for another one... we commented, we complained and in the end, we were the ones who appeared to have the fault.. I hate it... I'd rather keep my mouth shut and appear nice than to open it and say bad stuffs... how unfair my college is... pero nevermind..

as far as i am concerned, they were the ones to blame for the injustice that the student have had felt about the celebration and about the financial stuffs... they had there lessons... basta ako, I'll just do what I am supposed to do... I'll make sure I will not be like them....

katapusan ng mundo..

so happy.. wala na ko sa Bacte... haha

i bought a Globe Tattoo

yep.. i finally bought a wireless broadband for my PC.. haha..

someday, its gonna make sense...

i finally did it.. i made the most daring move I had ever done in my life.. atleast know it is revealed... i know i'll be better....

THIS IS NOT GOODBYE

Tuesday... enrolment for Internship... Should I expect excitement among my peers? should we be glad because finally we will reach the final adventure of our MedTech life? How can I be happy if my closest friends didn't made it? I can't see myself continue the journey without them... I will miss you all.. to Jem, who dont deserve to lose the fight, prove them wrong... Show them what you really got... To RJ and Matet, don't waste the next moment of your adventure- this is not failure...this is just your postponed success... I will miss you all... The friendship I had with you is the most loyal I had ever had... Thank you so much for the acceptance, for the joy and the unconditional love... THE FRIENDSHIP WE HAD WILL BE FOREVER CHERISHED... ONCE AN MT-4, ALWAYS BE A MT-4...

time to change..

i love myself... i love myself.. i love myself... i'm not narcistic... i just love myself...

SCREEN TEST

Sometimes, there is a need to stand up for yourself. The “standing up” that means you have to make a big decision which will eventually change the entire picture of your present life. It could be the most difficult thing to do but though it hurts, you know that it’s for the best. It may cause me pain but I know this choice will make me happier in the end. Funny cause it is indeed true- there is no such thing as FAIRYTALE. And everything definitely has expirations. Mine has taken place.
Was it over because somebody dropped me? Of course not, I’m Martin remember? If a boss tries to fire me, I will outdo him with my resignation letter. I’m just making decisions which I know would be of my greatest advantage. It is such a heartbreakin’ move- but I know my drama is on its screenplay, I’m playing with my own visual effects and I choose the best cinematography for it. Hate me-so you will play the poor little adversary. Now, I’m bitch’n out again. Hehe.
It just started with my former ‘self-made-lead-stars’ who tried to steal the glare of publicity out of me but not surprisingly they did not succeed. And it made me into a bitter but glaring bitch. After all, I look upon my counterpart- Blare Waldorf. And if there is Blare, there should be Serena and the rest of the Powerpuff girls… thanks to them, the invasion of the spiteful, the nasty and the beautiful come about and we call the story “Friendship”…
But it didn’t stop there; a Dan Humphrey is trying to make his way into the scene. The story was smoothly flowing but suddenly he mess it all up. As if I care?! Of course I care, that was assumed to be the best part, the climax, the glitters and the music of Mariah on its background. AAAHHH!!! I was so close but aaahhhh!!! Oh well, I dropped him too...
Now I think I need a break. Im nursing grudges, oh no! It’s a bad sign…. Oh what am I thinking?! What am I saying?! I think I just have nothing to do right now… xoxo!

Lola Rene

I've reached this point that I feel so guilty. Guilty because Lola Rene is now weak and I got no chance of redeeming my self. I hated her for unknown reasons, I fought back when she had to justify something and every time I see her, I got irritated. Now, I feel bad, seeing her in the hospital bed helpless. God, please give me a chance to thank her for her kindness, patience and unmeasurable understanding. Please give me a chance to redeem myself. Thank you dear Father...

A TIME TO FIGHT BACK

Sometimes, I'm thinking of myself as a loser, weak and has no guts to stand up for himself. Well, I guess the saying "If you want to look big, join the giants" is quite real. Now I am taller than most of my foes. They hate me, I hate them too. This is just a fair way of dealing with life's bitches... hate me, I will hate you more. Beware of the plastics and learn to fight back! go Boi!!!!

THE NEXT WRITER

As I was browsing through the pages of a literary folio, I told myself: “I should write”. I should learn how to write to be exact. I’m not a writer and grammar makes my knees numb. But I will dare myself to write because this is one fascinating form of self expression. So before you continue reading the next few lines, please EXCUSE MY ENGLISH (grammar, diction and hopefully not spelling), anyways let’s just consider this as my personal style.
Since my elementary days, we are trained to write. We furnished the skills during high school with the electives on Creative Writing, Journalism, Technical Writing, Research and Literature. Now, the question is: “What happened?” The answer? Still I do not know. Since then, I really want to write…in English. But skills discouraged me to do so. While most of my classmates scribble on higher English, I remained in simple inartistic laymen’s diction. Oh crap. Wish I could write as good as those in the school paper.
I really want to write. But I do not know or what to write. But still I will write. I will not give up. I will be the best writer. I’ll be writing for Reader’s Digest and contribute on Chicken Soup in the future. But for now, I will just write for myself, improve my skills and dream more. Hey, life without a mission is not life at all.

-JOHN MARTIN DAMASCO
Writer…Future Writer

NOW THAT I’M 20

Yep, you heard it right. I’m a kid no more. Hehe. Birthdays were indeed worth remembering. Mine was just a plain simple celebration with my family and my cousins. I had a date with my ever bestfriend, my dearest cousin Twinkle the next day. Sort of post birthday celebration for me and a pre-celebration of her birthday, which is on the 21st. Hay, hopefully, as I enter the world of the 20’s I may be able to fulfil the expectations of being a 20 year old.

Now that I am 20:

I promise myself to be more mature,

That I may be able to make wise, if not good decisions,

I will strive to be good in my daily venture.

I wish that I can make it,

That I can be assertive in everything I do.

I will be positive,

And successful,

At the same time happy.

DIARY OF THE INSECURE

This past few days are hard for me (all the days actually is hard for me though). My last blog entry was about my jealousies and I guess there is no difference with what I am posting right now.

Yesterday:
St. Augustine’s Feast Day, also was the Acquaintance Day. We do have this sort of contests and playful stuffs going on around. There’s the dating game, the Jail Booth, the Handcuff-sort-of Booth and lot’s of other stuffs. I was in charged with the MTV thing which I really worked hard on and is actually a contest entry of our class. We are really expecting to win an award for that but sad to say we landed on the 3rd place, much even worse we were not declared as the 3rd placer. It was already late when we were told that there was a kind of slip that happened. And wow, should I be happy about that? In a way, of course I should be. God has beautiful way of sending instant wish-grants. But the sad part is that, it was not announced on stage, we haven’t cheered and shout so loud for our victory. We were just told after the program, amazing, isn’t it? The thing is that I worked hard for that, my classmates appreciated my effort. They cared and they supported that thing.

But much worse is that Shella, my closest friend think that the video sucks, she has lots of commentaries about it, it should be something like this, should not be like that and few more of those similar criticisms. We are friends, and she should be the very first to support me, to feel happy about my hardwork, to appreciate my effort. But did she care? Oh well, that’s life and that’s her. Shella, sometimes is so…Shella. As a friend I must accept her. But she must learn to be a true friend herself.

Well sometimes, I was thinking that hopefully I’m a different guy (here goes my insecurities again). But still I’m fighting over it. Hey, God is good and he has loads of wonderful stuffs for me.

Speaking of God’s goodness, he is so instant in granting my wishes. We won 3rd place in that not-so-good-experience kind of contest and last night I texted the least expected person I can ever deal with: Sir Andrew of Ventus… Haha, we are textmates now or sort of near to that… Anyways, he is so nice to say yes to my proposal (as a fan) of sending him messages once in a while… Love you God!!!! You are so great!

Hay anyways, last night, I partied with my friends and friend in the state of regaining, we got drunk and we ate at a Korean Resto- Kook… hehe… I miss my friends, I miss having real and true friends… I miss having cool and funny and crazy friends… I miss them all.

But there is another thing that I want to confess, I pity Julius. I pity him for choosing not to talk to me. Now, a lot of people ignore him (not something to feel flattered on). And he is always alone. I was once his friend, who tried to changed him, who was helping him out but things altered. Now he is somewhat lost, kind of hated... He is misunderstood. I hope things will be better for him…and for me. Well that is all… Hoping my next entry will be something positive…

By the way, my Mom was admitted at the hospital for her TAHBSU Operation. She is better now and expecting to be discharged tomorrow. Thanks God!

diary

life isn't really fair... I tried to make it better, but it gone worse... Still I know that all of this damn stuffs are just tests that I need to pass. I flunked once, never will it happen again... Feel so down right now... School's a piece of shit... Teacher's hate me... dunno why... I tried my best to redeem myself, but still to no avail... When will they be able to find out that I'm okay! that I'm good, that I can do better.. I want to wet my pillows sometimes, but good thing I can manage my emotions better now. Another dilemma, my former friends are stabbing me at my back... Yeah, hate those people who have the guts to betray there friends... I am avoiding those people who have the tendency to be bitches when you're not around.... But my biggest frustration is "Bebe" is ignoring me now... wrong tactics, wrong attacks, wrong strategies... hate it... feelin' bad about it... But life will always be this way... I will always be the Martin who is alone, pretentious and eager in searching for true happiness. Thanks to those who are giving me the air to breathe when I am suffocated with loneliness...


I miss my life... I miss myself.... I miss happiness...

things I should fuckingly be happy about

yeah... things that made me feel great:

I flunked my exams for the first time- another record breaking moment

teachers hate me for being so irresistibly cute

I have a very high IQ, so high that I could hardly understand my lessons

I engaged myself to a pot session inside the school...pot session of muriatic acid, zonrox and Lysol all at the same time....

mumu... huhuhu... la lang... gapun nagkadto kami sa SM with Clarrise, Troy, Julius kag Shella.... Hahha... naglibre si Ian Pizza Hut... Si Menvie nakita ko naman after pila ka months... Miss mah friends... hekhek......



Watch ang iban Urbandub concert, la ko ya kaupod... huhu... pro it's okay...




Today, school aku... I thought my cl;ass pero close ang laboratory... nag net nalang kami... wahaha..

IT REALLY WORKS

Who would have thought I will make it to Ventus. It was a tough training and I made it. Before, I was really hopeless. I was thinking I will never make it. But now everything is in order. It coordinates to what I really want. First, I have an AM job that I really wanted. I am teaching young individuals in Elementary to read. It must not bring conflict to my PM job. Hey, what a good fate. During re-shifting, I remain to my PM schedule. What a wow! I enjoyed it. Last night, when Ronn texted me that I got the highest number of messages transcribed (my CSR job), I checked it on the bulletin board and it was really posted there! Wow! I was one of the lowest pointers during the training but hey, I made it! Wow again for that!!! And tomorrow, I’ll be receiving my first salary… Oooohhh… That’s a bigger WOW!!!! I am so lucky!!! NO, I have the best fate!!! Thanks to God for that!!! I am so happy. I know that I will make it to the QA (Quality Assurance-sort of evaluation). I will make it. I know that. Now, Martin is the luckiest guy alive!!! He is so good now. I love myself. Thanks for everything. Thanks for showing me the true meaning of living! I am sooo happy!!!! I will make sure that I am doing my best in everything. Watch out for the new Me. It’s the new Martin who is existing right now. Bonus news: I got admirers!!! Wahahaha… Who would have thought that I will have vocal admirers???? Oh, what a life!!! I’m so flattered. …

MY WISH LIST

1. I earn an unexpected salary of P15,000
2. I own a PSP
3. I play with my Game Boy
4. I listen to my Ipod Touch
5. I have an oozing Beautiful Face
6. I have a mouth-watering Sexy Body
7. Happiness
8. I have a perfect Relationship
9. I am sooo HEALTHY.
10. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT.
11. I AM LOVED
12. I am a MILLIONARE
13. I OWN A MANSION
14. IT’S A PALACE WITH A VINEYARD
15. I’M A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN
16. I TOUCHED THE LIVES OF MANY
17. I AM HAPPY
18. GOD LOVES ME.
19. PEOPLE CARED FOR ME
20. I AM POPULAR
21. I HAVE WRITTEN A BESTSELLER BOOK WORLDWIDE
22. I AM AN ACTOR
22. THE PHILLIPINNES IS ONE OF THE RICHEST COUNTRY
23. EVERYBODY IS LIVING ON ABUNDANCE
24. I AM FREE
25. MY FAMILY IS IN GOOD CONDITION
26. I HAVE A PEACEFUL AND SATISFYING LIFE.
27. I CLIMB MOUNTAINS.
28. I KNOW A LOT OF SPORTS.
29. I AM DREAMING FOR MORE.
30. EVERYTHING IS REAL.

THE NEW DAY HAS FINALLY COME

The darkest part of the day is just right before the dawn. Now my dawn has finally come. I didn’t realize that I will change my life in an instant after playing the pirated DVD I borrowed from Elanie. Who would have thought that the guy who is so inferior, crazy and lonely has changed his life just after watching this certain docu film. I am happier now. And I am so glad that the Universe conspires with me. Now, everything is in proper order. I don’t wet my pillows with tears anymore. I became aware of the true meaning of living. Life is indeed full of mysteries. I am so glad that I discovered one. And who would have thought it is because of a pirated DVD? Know the Law of Attraction? Kim has it before me. He asked me before about the book “The Secret”. Of course I am aware that the book exists but I didn’t realize that I was almost there. I haven’t read that book but I had watched the film. Now I am happier. I am living the life that I was always pleading to God. I am happier now. I am destined to be happy, to look for happiness, to share it and to be admired because of it. I had a part-time job that I really wanted, I appreciate the best family that I am having, I am loved by the people around me, I am lucky with everything. No, it’s not luck, its fate. Now, people would come to me because they are likening me, not because they need me. I can manage my health better this time despite the hectic schedules. I appreciate everything. I give gratitude to the things that I owe to God. I love myself now. No more self-pity, no more grudges, no more loneliness and no more fears. I am happy, I am glad, I am the best and I am beautiful. Ho w about you? Do you remember the last time you told that to yourself? Do you still recall the times that you were so happy? Do you wish that life would be better? Think again. The answer is just in your heart. The mind conceives it, your body will achieve it. Be attractive. Feel attractive. Be happy. It is just the state of mind; the state of mind which is larger and wider than you think. Remember the last few lines of Desiderata? You are the Child of the Universe. No less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt that the Universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God. Whatever you conceive him to be; And whatever your labors and aspirations in this changing fortunes of time. Keep peace within your soul. With all the sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.See for yourself my friends. Learn to unfold the deepest secret within you. Rejoice and be happy with God! Feel good with yourself!

a wrong way of living

CORRECT WHAT'S BEEN DONE WRONG

the law of attraction's style

quite stupid right?!

I've wasted my time pitying my self for less than a year. Confessing my life is so miserable, feeling empty, dumb and damn lonely?! Funny iosn't it? In the first place, I was the one who make this things up... I'm the one who makes my own life. Starting that very point that I learned about "The Secret", I will make my life the most beautiful one, ever. I am the masterpiece of my one life. The Michaelangelo who carves the best sculptur ever: sculpting my own story. Martin- feel good about yourself and the Universe shall conspire on you. Be good! Be happy! Show gratitude! Be glad for you are the Martin. You are special, unique and beautiful!!! Live your life powerful. You are attractive!!!! I love you!!!! I'm happy to be you!!!

It's Complicated

IT'S COMPLICATED

Life is complicated, isn't it?! I manage to stop the drama but I often ending up in wet pillow. It seems life is made for me to suffer. I always feel so empty. I am always lonely. Maybe, nobody new my real deal with life. I don't have a confidant and I always stay mute when it comes to personal problems. When will be the time that I can be transparent about myself? When will I show the real feelings I am having and stop pretending to be happy in the middle of great depression I am feeling? Sometimes, I want to change my whole self. Go climb the mountain and enjoy the simpliest and contented living if possible. I cried my nights alone. I am always alone, despite the tons of friends I have. Time can tell when will I be happy once more. And I know God has beautiful plans for me in the future. Hope that time is already near...

diary entry

I'm lonely... Yeah right., I am always lonely... what's new with that?! I feel so bad and jealous to0 everyone around me... why?! Maybe I am just not good when it comes to contentment... my inferiority complex sucks me off like hell.... I do have lots and lots of worries... zits are the proof to that... lately, I attempted to end my life... a piece of shit for that... I felt so bad, frustrated and insecured... why I am lonely? I don't know... maybe for the fact that I am alone despite I have tons of friends... or it's because of the number that I became desperate of looking for the best?!

speaking of friends, just an hour ago, I was thinking, what if my friends find out that their friend is a huge shit? a dirtiest sluttish fucker?! a piece of big hoar?! things will change. definetely....


I'm tired of this kind of life... hope I will see changes going on...



meanwhile,

*Jem called me tuesday morning... Cell Bio assignment should be passed 8am that day... she bribed me of a Hershey bar and a hundred bucks to fetch her assignment to school (her body hurts- like mine, during the baseball game a day before.).

*we still practice for the culminating activity... hope it will be a success.

*and we had a meeting for that several times, still lots of probs.. btw, I am the president of this subject... community and public health. culminating will be on march 15 at Asilo....


hope i can write something nice next time...

I am Just A Gazer

I am just a gazer,

A starer,

An astrologer.

A searcher of five second bliss.

It is the felicity of seeing you,

That keeps my breathing in ecstasy persistent.

Not a day that you complete,

But my entire life until the reminiscence of you fades slowly.
My gapes were private,

When you catch me, it means eternity.

When yours were seize,

I am melted totally.

I am nothing but a stargazer you try to dispense with.

But you are heaven to me and I’ll explore you through the constellations.

You shrug me off intentionally,

I know, never will I be apart of your verve.

I am not pleading for anything,

All I want was only your attendance.

I am not dreaming of love,

What I am asking is only your cognizance

You are not just a star,

You’re more than a heavenly body.

I can see you through my lenses,

I know you just pretend you don’t notice.

And I’ll just be here,

In the silence of your flickers.

I’ll be nothing more than a proselyte,

Of my undying admiration to your light….

today senti

TODAY, I WENT HOME SENTIMENTAL

Today is another special day for me. Its just today that I realized my life has really changed a lot. My family, a.k.a. my SSC high school classmates let me realized this all. I learned to appreciate them more. Yes, they are my lifeline, but just today that I appreciated them clearer. We had a great night yesterday; we watch a last show movie, drink, went to the bar, had a sleepover (as usual) and talked and talked and laughed and talked and took a 1 hour sleep. We went to the coffee shop to have nice sip in a cup with the sweetest reminiscence and sentimental talks that made my cappuccino tasted better. Our lives really change. We don’t usually do this before. Our bonding sessions back in our teeny days were just barrio fiestas, laughs in the town’s park and chit-chat in one of our houses. Simple days, simple lives, shallow happiness. But now, things changed, our ways or habits are now different. Then after a sip of her ice coffee, Shayne started it all, she said, our bonding compared to other groups is different. We are more solid compared to other batches of SSC’s. I nodded.Then I just realized how special they really are, not because we are Special Science Class but because they are indeed special in there own unique way. I wont forget there smiles, there happiness, the comfort of being with them, the shared moments, the trust, the empathy, the unconditional love, the sense of great friendship and a one big united family. They are so precious that I am learning to sacrifice for them, to defend them and to fight for them. And when time comes that I have to forget about them, it will be the hardest part of my journey. If fate doesn’t allow a forever in our relationship, it will be my most tormenting. But I know one day, maybe, just maybe, I’ll be glad if they will remember me as the Martin who is bubbly, carefree, jolly, wacky and cracked. I’ll be okay if they will live their lives, slowly, forgetting someone named Martz. Maybe few more days, few more months or years it will come about. But all I am just pleading is put few more days of extension because it is too painful. But remember, things are happening because I don’t want to hurt you guys, I don’t want to see you in agony because of me. I’m posting this because maybe one day (but please never), it will occur, you will know how special and dearest you are to me. A part of my life is designed to touch yours. I love you guys and I hope to see you more, to see tomorrow, the next day, the day after the next, in succeeding weeks, months and years. I want to see you all forever. But if not, I want to see you all happy and contented with your lives. Go on… life goes on…
I will always be here for you guys without asking for anything in return. I guess that’s my fate, to meet you all dearest bros and sis and take a role in your life, to make you happy and appreciate how wonderful life is. And I am greatly proud about that. Sorry for my shortcomings…
I love you all!

26 was the Saddest

25th was Christmas day, ofcourse, the happiest for our family... especially cousins from far flung places went to visit and spend their christmas here. But it was after the day of laughs and nausea due to excessive alcohol intake that I really felt sad. Bien, my ever best company will be joining his Mom to cebu. He is just a kid, i know. But that kid who in his innocence touched the lives of many will be going away is just a headline story for me. He is a great deal for me. In his ignorance, I shared the best company ever. Most of mornings that i have the mood for biking, I fetch him from our grandma's place and together we explore the beauty of carefree life. There, in those place which he used to see the Mah (cow) and the Meehh (goat), I shared with him my deepest thoughts, the things nobody knew.. He is the depository outlet for me. he is my only reliable friend who listens without judgments, without discriminations. He is just a sweet four-year-old boy who used to light my dark world. He is my angel. Now, he left. I can't show my real emotions infront of him. i smiled but my heart is deeply wounded by his departure. I waved my last bye-bye...I kissed him for the last time...I slap his face that I will forever miss... I had a last look of this cudly little boy who made my days livlier... Bye-bye Bien!!! Hope you will never forget Tin-tin who love you so much... Tears fell but still invincible...

THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN

I came across a point in my life that I decided to change the ways its done... I am not perfect nor that wise... I am more of a stupid guy doing the dumbest decision ever... but now, things changed. due to the circumstances I had encountered, those streessful nights that made me sleepless, to the schizophrenia no one knew,I made a great deal with the Master... I will change my life... this will be the start of something better... hope for forgiveness... I knew my mistakes... things will never be the same again.

C

GOD..

please...

be with me...

don't leave me..

& give me another chance..

EMO: TOO SCARED TO BE ONE OF THEM

You’ve seen them dominating the school with those black eyeliners and an all-black fashion statement. At first, I am one of those “suya” to this group of individuals, which according to what my instinct can perceive- are trying to be somebody else. But it was before I read some articles and watching a TV program which tackled the growing subculture in the country. Then I was alarmed by some statements and examples of music they were referring to. First, EMO was cradled from the word Emotional- what a goose bump (my friends were laughing as I shared this). Yeah, I’m quite emotional and sensitive but I’m no Emo. And the second thing petrified me the most- the bands that I’m dying for their music’s are actually Emos. Oh my good damned goodness, never did I knew (even quite obvious) that My Chemical Romance- my ever intoxicating music idols, with music that speaks of me, with poetry that crashes my eardrums, are actually Gods of Emo’s?! The soullah good Chicosci are one of them, my new favorite Typcast is a local cult. Whaaaatt?!! I wanna wail louder! The Fall Out Boy, the Paramore, The Red Jumpsuit?!
Pucha, I was questioning myself for few days: Am I one of them?! Then my emotional intelligence came into existence just after typing the last sentence: Nope, I am not. It doesn’t mean that few of these descriptions speak of me then I am officially enrolled in this subculture. Yeah, I love the bands, I am quite inferior- but not introvert, my powerful voice pa man lang Diyos ko, I can make friends with anybody (very extrovert at that), self-injury (I still believe it’s nonsense graded A), and obviously the fashion statement- I’ll get crucified by my mom seeing me in black eyeliners and nailpolish noh! But my emotional intelligence is really a Martin by heart and soul: a great leg-pulling teaser! I am bantered by my own kagaguhan: hala, Emo ka nah! Sagay ka dira upod kay Jen kag Shella- mabakal ka man Loafers na Skull o Chucks noh?! Wahaha!!! Palalantaw ka pa banda! You are artistic, self-made ang mga fashoion katangadalan mu. Yahoo!!! Emo! Emo! Emo! Si Martin- emo! Si martin- emah! Wahaha! What-a-self! Thanks ha?!
But now, I guess there’s nothing wrong enjoying them, as long as you live your life healthier and wiser, what’s wrong?! I’ll still patronized the music, enjoying the company and now understand the guys registered to be one. All we have to do is to live our life in our own unique way. Be yourself- it’s less complicated complicated!

artcle pharma

ANG ALAMAT NG GUAVA JAM
Martuz Reklamadoruz

Ilang beses na ba tayo nalinawan patungkol sa mga di-maiintindihang bagay-bagay sa University? Ilang ulit ka na bang nagalit sa di mabigyang aksyong problema dito sapagkat sa kaklase mo lang ibinubulalas ang lahat ng reklamo mo? Ilang beses ka na bang pumasok sa “office” para i-exercise ang sinasabing student’s rights mo? Ilang beses ka na bang lumuha dahil hindi mo magamit ang comfort room kahit ihing-ihi ka na?
Hindi ako writer at lalong wala akong kakayahang makipagdebate sa kung ano ang tama sa kalawakan ng planetang Journalism. Naisip ko lang na ano kaya ang pakiramdam kung inilimbag ang isang article sa departmental paper na ang author ay…AKO? At ito ang theme ng debut article ko (kung makapasa sa mapanuring staff ng departmental paper): ang ireklamo ang pwedeng ireklamo, ang hingan ng linaw ang lahat ng ng hindi malinaw at itanong ang posibleng katanungan sa final exam sa Moral Theology. At dito ko sisimulan ang kapahamakan ko:

a) Enrolment Era- isa tayo sa may pinakamababang population dito sa school, pero bakit tuwing enrolment ang tagal ng proseso? Aabutin ka pa ng ilang Jurassic years sa pagpila sa Appraisal. Makacarbon-dating na ang Enrolment Form mo sa tagal ng pila sa Encoding. At idagdag mo pa ang mala-registration sa COMELEC na payments sa Admin at ghost hunting sa adviser para sa clearance.
Result: Varicose veins formation with 20 new information galing sa correspondent ng Tsismis101 na katabi mo sa pila.

b) Historical Artifacts: Toilet Bowls- Since sa UH hanggang sa Alumni, highest grossing na siguro kung may presyo lang ang bawat reklamo sa nadudugyot na CR. Kung hindi nagka-lunar eclipse, hindi sana nalinis ang mga toilet bowls na possible nang gawing source ng primary culture ng mga mikrobyo. Tears of joy ang naramdaman namin nang madiskubreng nalinis na ang mga CR. Wala na ang lumulutang na chewing gum na nabatok sa manilaw-nilaw na karagatan na naging saksi sa pambababoy sa sagradong palikuran. Wala na rin ang mga mucous of different varieties na disenteng nakadikit sa dehydrated na lavatory. Ngunit tulad ng lunar eclipse, lumilipas lang ito. Maghintay nalang tayo ng leap year baka permanente ng magka-supply ng tubig.

c) Mga hindi Ma-gets na Minor Subjects- ano ba ang kinalaman ng ibang minor-subjects sa kurso natin? Bakit merong Algebra na dapat ipasa? Para ma-equate natin gamit ang perfect square trinomial kung ilan ang normal (x)pus cells meron sa (-2y)urine sample kung ang pasyente ay nangangalapa sa formula na x2+2xy+y2=DRP at retake during summer? Bakit may Logic pa? siguro para maintindihan natin na isang unsound statement ang may mga premises na:
Theology is a difficult subject.
Major subjects are difficult.
Therefore, Theology is a major subject.-bilang conclusion.
At bakit may Philosophy of Man pa na nakakanosebleed sa pagbasa ng Becoming a Human Person? Hindi dahil natatamaan ang mga asal hayop, kung hindi, dahil kasing liit ng bibliya ang font size at kasing kapal ng El Filibusterismo ang dapat matapos. Ang masama pa, natapos mo man basahin ang buong libro, isang excerpt lang mula sa libro ni Bob Ong ang tangi mong naintindihan at nakarelate ka bilang tunay na Human Person.

Kung tutuusin, mahigit isang libong piso ang ginagastos natin sa bawat subjects na ito- katumbas na ito ng ilang kilong parte ng katawan ni Esmeralda ( ang kaawa-awang baboy) na sampu ng kaniyang kauri ay kinakatay tuwing enrolment. Sumalangit nawa ang kanilang kaluluwa.

d) Kalawang Blues- isa sa pinakahighlight ng mga laboratory classes ay ang Returning of Apparatus. Bakit? Dito mo aktwal na maiintindihan ang nagaganap na chemical change sa nangangalawang na iron stand. Pagkatapos ng isang semester na pangangalapa sa laboratory, isang elimination round ang magaganap. Haharap sa iyo ang mapanuring mga mata ng staffs sa stock room sa paghuhukom kung pasok o hindi ang mga apparatus niyo. Mabibigyan mo na ng hustisya ang motto na “try and try until you succeed” habang hirap ka sa pagkuskos ng petroleum jelly sabay calculate kung kulang ba ang binayad mong Laboratory fee noong enrolment para parusahan ka ng ganito.

e) Ventilation, ano pa ba ang bago dito?- naaapreciate ko na ang silbi ng photocopied handouts sa tuwing tag-init. Walang electric fan sa Alumni at sa Aguirre meron nga, pero mas malakas pa ang hininga ko kaysa buga ng hangin ng asthmatic na ceiling fan doon. Solar eclipse siguro ang dapat nating hintayin para magkaroon na ng totoong electric fan na nagbubuga ng totoong hangin dahil totoong nakakainsulto ito sa may mga bitbit na guava jam sa klase.

f) USA Gym- isang ‘dream come true’ na siguro maituturing kung nag P.E. tayo sa loob ng Gym, ano? Pagpasok mo pa lang, dinig mo na ang sabi ng kaklase mo na “Wow Pare, hanep sa kintab ng sahig. Uy grabe, transparent ang ring. Digital pa ang board!” Maluha-luha mong iso-shoot ang bola at mangiyak-ngiyak mong gagawin ang first free-throw mo. At bigla ka nalang magigising sa isang panaginip na kaylan may mananatiling reklamo ng bawat Andres Bonifacio. Bakit hindi tayo pwedeng gumamit ng mga facility na kung tutuusin galing sa bulsa natin ang ginastos sa mga bagong benches, pintura, flooring at anti-anay treatment. Ang masaklap pa, bakit ang iba nagbabayad para makagamit ng gym, e tayo naman ang mga estudyante dito ha? Mamumulaklak muna ang kawayan bago tayo di na mapagkakaitan ng mga bagay na tunay naman talagang para sa atin.

Ilan lang ito sa napa-exaggerate na problemang naging pulutan na sa bawat usapin. Hindi pa natin napag-usapan ang tungkol sa sa pasok kahit na may baha, sa pre-judging round sa harap ng mga guards para malaman kung in or out ang Havianas mo, sa gabundok na requirements na hindi na kakasya sa class record, at kung bakit naging garapata ang metaphor para kay Teri Hatcher. Marahil may mga hindi pabor o may mga batikos na maaaring ibato sa sulating ito. Pero mas mahalagang pagtuunan ng pansin ang mga detalyeng totoo ba o hindi, pansinin ba o dedma, natamaan ka o wala at kung ikaw ba ang nangangamoy guava jam para hindi na humantong sa pagpupunit ng sedula ng mga nagpupunyaging kapatiran ng KKK (Kataastaasan Kagalanggalangan Kapilyuhan ng mga Anak ni Bob Marley).

Paalaala: ang lahat ng nakasulat bago ang salitang ‘Paalaala’ ay walang katotohanan, pawang tsismis lamang. Ang sumulat ay hindi kailangang ipatawag at patawan ng mahabahabang homily sa Guidance Office. Maraming salamat.

redirecting my life

Do you think I need redirection with my life? I'm growing older and as time move constantly, I constantly commiting mistakes. Why am I such a stupid brat? when will I make a good dicision?

now i'm scared

Should i keep this ? should i hide this? the answer is YES... I've been trusting this site without considering who may be able to catch a glimpse on what I am writing on... Scared maybe... Scared that anything I am writing here will be exposed to the public and may cause my biggest humiliation ever... hope everything will be fine... now I'll do my best to keep everything into proper places...to make sure my skeletons will always be intact in my closet...

diary

SEM-BREAK BLUES

Sem-break... it'z a time for all of us to enjoy this short but worthwhile BREAK... For two weeks or so, I'm making use of all the time available to have a BREAK... So thankful that my friendster account was not sabotage after the 'bug-down' thing a few days ago... I enjoyed biking with my cutie nephew and ihado- BIEN.... We roam around the town proper with my ever trusted and reliable Mountain Bicycle... I saw Jose just this morning and Tata too, with just little connections or hit... I was inspired by KC Concepcion's t.v. special about her 4-year stay in Paris... Someday, I can do that too... I will have an adventure to build up myself for the better... I hope it'll happen.. miss my friends...

diary

i don't know what to write... but let's just say something didn't work out right today... my... quite unsatisfied for what had happened. i just wait for a single beep from my phone for the entire day but I haven't recieved any... last day of meeting will be th most "sayang" opportunity I will have... hope for the last time it will happen...

i can't add it up... as if it is something I am scared to do... but time comes that i will try... i promise...